Cricket in Ads ... Litrally now.

Cricket in the past 4 weeks has gained more popularity than any other event happening around the globe. Be it the Ram-Setu issue, or the terror strikes around the world. Having an orthodox approach towards TV viewing, I still have Cable TV coming at my place. With that piece of technology, I feel like I am banged right in the stone age of TV transmission. The other day I watched a DTH TV transmission, it was clear, as it is supposed to be. It is definitely high quality transmission. DTH transmission involves nominal initial installation cost thats for the dish and the box thats goes on ur TV. So, initially there is an expense of 1500 bucks. And then u pay for the channels that you want to surf.

The thing that pisses me off about Cable TV transmission is the number of Ads they transmit during cricket matches. Particularly about an incident that happened with India in the crunch overs. Now, India has a tendency of throwing away wickets in a chain. So one such incident happened. A wicket fell on the fourth ball of an over. Since I missed the ball, I was expecting a replay to be aired. But, instead of a replay, I got a quick Ad from one of the sponsors. Now, this is the interesting part. At the time when the Ad was aired, another Indian batsman arrived at the creases. He played at the next ball and got out. But this happened when the Ad was being aired. The Ad transmission got over at its normal time and Cable TV guys finally decided to air Cricket for some time. So as soon as the cricket came back on air, I was shocked at what had happened. It was very unlucky on my part to have missed the first wicket that fell on the fourth ball. I missed the wicket on the 5th ball due to the fuck heads sitting on their asses transmitting Cable TV Transmission. So back on air at the 6th ball. It was a dot ball. It has to be repeated again. They cannot do anything about it. They are blinded by the money they are getting paid. But they don't realize, that passionate fans like us will certainly make a point to switch from Cable TV to DTH.

Today there was a news ticker that Cable operators form Thane were infuriated with SRK's new Ad promoting Dish TV's DTH Service. They are pissed at SRK and condemn his Ad where SRK says that DTH transmission is clear, quality service. They feel that the guy who started his career from TV shows such as "Fauji" and "Circus", owed his success to Cable TV guys who distributed his shows to the millions of people around India. The felt that SRK should be thankful to them for his success, Instead of promoting something thats trying to cease their existence.

Well if you say so, in my view, this cable TV operators are a piece of sheet [ similar phonetic word with an "i" ]. "Fauji " and "Circus", both were aired on National Television - Doordarshan [which is free to air in India and other surrounding countries]. So I think they are making a fool of themselves on news channels that are hungry for more of "Breaking News". These people earn in huge proportions, and they are greedy for more. These breed should be put to rest by the state run good for nothing BMC. That will be like bitches killing bitches. I would like to see that happen somewhere in my time line.

Its as if we are watching the Ads and all of a sudden in between they are airing cricket for some break or to get some refreshments. There should be some solution to this menace.

STOP DISCRIMINATION, HATE EVERYONE.

Funny TV channels !

You come home from a hard days work. You remove your shoes. Take a shower. Take the remote control and then switch on the idiot box for your daily news updates. In this process, nothing is missing. Nothing is out of place. But after you switch ON your TV, you surf through the channels, often coming across TV channels covering same news. It is worth mentioning that the TV channels take pain staking efforts in doing so. They have a man in around every city in the nation, there, all packed, locked and loaded to shoot some thing that can feebly increase the TRP of the pathetic news channel.

So you still keep on channel surfing ... trying to find the right channel for the evening. You come across 18 news channels. Most of them were running the same story all over again. You are getting bored of it now. You want to switch off your TV, have ur dinner and go to bed [cuz u know that ur boss is gonna kick yo ass if u late at werk]. But still you say to yourself ... just hang in there ... you might get the right channel. BANG !!!

There it was ... the news channel you were searching for !

It sure isn't informative for the evening ... but it does make you laugh. This one's covering a story about whistling your way to 15 seconds of fame. You see a TV host along with a few people [3 guys and a lady] ... So you see this female asking these people, "When did you think that whistling is your strengths ? "

The guy is overwhelmed with excitement. He gives an answer that no one on earth cares about. The host asks him to whistle a jingle. Now you are really feeling awkward. Next you see 4 people [3 guys and a lady] jingling their way to 15 seconds their of fame...where they don't speak a word !

They start off with a classic. "Dil to Pagal Hai" ... yes I know that you know it. The news channel has a round of fake applause. By this time you are thoroughly entertained. For the first time you have seen grown ups act like an ass. You switch the channel before you loose your senses. You come across cable TV. Same old cable that puts on latest flicks after mid-night on weekdays. And on weekends, you can find the usual porno. So, you find the cable channel playing an ITEM song form a new flick. But wait. You can listen the song. But the video is not visible. Whats the point in showing an ITEM song without any visuals. You concentrate. You try to see the picture clear. But there is a problem here that can't be rectified by any TV. Not even Bravia by SONY.

The problem is that the screen is over swept by commercial ads. Look at the percentage of screen thats visible in this screen shot. You think, why am I even paying for this shitty service ?

You are sad. You are Dissapointed. You switchoff your TV set. Call up the cable operator. Ask him to unplug your connection. Next day get yourself a DTH. And then, live happily ever after.

Resurrection of interests

Looking back at myself, as a kid, I used to collect marbles. Lots of marbles, then came plaster of paris balls (called gota), we used to trade those things, play with it for the whole summer vacations. This was probably the stone age. Then came the copper age, we collected rods and played by inserting them on wet grounds in monsoon. When the rods came, we believed that the marbles were very lame and so uncool. Rods soon lost touch too, as we all got new bicycles. Brand new cycles, wash it everyday after the evening gets over. Washing the cycles too got boring and stopped after I got the cycle repaired for the inevitable puncture. As we grew older, the side wheels got off. We now rode fast and rode fast enough to burst open a rash on the knee every other weekend. Mom's always giving that extra beating for not having bath after the evening playtime.

Then I came to Mumbai, we were still kids. Following cricket, we found this new trait. Cricket Cards. Cricket cards free with every Center Fresh Chewing gum. Damn, we were crazy after that shit. We used to buy 10 each day and though were never able to chew all of them, we sure busted all our pocket money on it. The basic thing was that the cards were in numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, ..... 100. We collected all the cards from 1 too 100. We were the proudes brothers in the society. We were everyone's envy. I got cards from the farthest medical shops. When ever we went at any relatives place, we used to go straight to the utility store and ask, "Center Fresh Cricket Cards hai kya ??? "
Shopkeeper said, "Haa ... Hai naa"
"Batao konsa hai"
Shopkeeper, "Ye lo"
Puts the bunch of cards in our hands. We select the cards we desire. Keep doubles of the rare cards. Count the number of cards. And then ask him to hand over the number of chewing gums.
We had the best deals in the whole school and society. Until one day, a guy came by and showed me a cricket card with the number 586. I was so shit spooked by it. For a moment I thought, it was a trick. But then it was no trick. Every other guy had the same card. Erlier there were 1 to 100. Now the number 586 was seeming very spookey. Just the thought of eating another 500 center fresh made me dizzy. I told my brother about it. We mutually agreed to stop colecting the cards and not to take them to school hence forth. It was a clever fluke decision because the nex week we had bag checks and kids with Center Fresh Cricket Cards were given a REMARK with red pen. And a REMARK is the worst thing that can happen to you at that age. The one with the RED pen means that it's chronic. And even diseases like Chimaira are curable in front if the Red Inked Remark.

We pated the 1 to 100 cards on a small notebook and opened it on weekends and cherished it for years to come. Then the gum started to get cranky and the cards started falling off. So we removed all the cards from the book and traded with a small kid who we knew was infatuated with the Center Fresh Cricket Cards.

Then we saw one day, that the Times of India also printed out a weekly newsletter on Cars and automobiles. Modern cars, racing cars, the Lamborghini, the Ferrari, the Mercedes, the BMW. Damn so many of them. We then made a scrap book of all the cars that came on Speed - Weekly newsletter on cars. We even bought glossy magzines from pasti ki dukaan and cut pasted the stuff on the scrap book. That too subsided with age. Then came the age of Tazos. Get one free with every pack of Lays Chips. We even bought a special star treck tazo file to keep the tazo's in one place and to show it to some one to trade it for the Looney tazo collection.

Stamps and coins were on and off. Never lost touch on either of them. Collect them now as well.

I always look back and think, "How dumb of me to do that !!!"

"Was that me collecting those center fresh cards ?"

"I think it was my brother ... "
But it was me.

Today, I feel that I was a moron doing all that. But nevertheless, I am repeating the same thing all over again. I go on Orkut. I hang out there throught the day. On yahoo, on facebook, on forums ... doing what ? Selecting iLike and iMovies. Buggers, it makes me feel as if I m doing the same thing all over again. Just the medium has changed. All the things are same. The cricket cards and tazos have become looney applications on Orkut and Facebook. The reputation has become the number of scraps and the number of friends. Nothing has changed. Nothing ever will.

And thats the end of the line. I feel that adults would behave like adults, but if the old fox comes disguising under the skin of a sheep, no one will know for the first time ... it's years after that they realise how stupid they were.

Its not stupid, its noobish.

Schumi | 15 years in the making

Its long time since all of us are treated with this McLaren Mercedes stiff among themselves. Lewis Hamilton is a phenomenon in himself. The F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone himself thanked this one of a kind "rookie" for his skill sets. He is termed rookie cuz his first championship race was an F1 grand prix. Alright so it's admitted that this Rookie is one of the most talented guys around the racing circuit. On the other end Fernando Alonso doesn't seem to change his approach towards his competition. Previous year we had a similar thing between him and Michael Schumacher, but Schumi being far better sports person never really got dragged in the arena. Michael Schumacher has reigned over Formula 1 for 15 years, won 7 championships and become the undisputed king of Formula 1. The last race of the 2006 season [Brazilian Grand Prix] and he could make it 8 titles. Schumi has a mountain to climb. He starts 10th and then a puncture ends his title hopes and he finishes 4th. Thats the end of Michael Schumacher. The Champion. The Villan.

SCHUMI | KING OF KART
But Michael Schumacher's entry into the world of Formula 1 was an event in itself. Schumi was quite a menace for starters. "He doesn't know where the line is between hard but fair and ruthless but foul", thats what his partner Martin Brundle commented after a race.

By the mid 80's, Schumi had won almost everything in carting and his talent soon demanded higher run on the racing ladder. In Formula Ford and Formula Curnick, Michael won a string of victories that lifted him to Formula 3 and his first major success. Michael also raced sports car for Mercedes Benz and his name began to appear on the Formula 1 radar. Although not always for the right reasons.



TEAM 1 | JORDAN : EDDIE JORDAN [1991]
Eddie Jordan gave Michael Schumacher his first Formula 1 drive, at the Belgian Grand Prix of Spa in 1991, although for reasons more based on commerce than talent. They needed someone to pay for the Engine bills and the Tyre Bills. Michael paid and he got into the car. Hence it's not all to do with talent. Although we like to claim it. Eddie Jordan needed money and a good quality driver and the rest is now history. It was a first time for Michael Schumacher in a Formula 1 car and he qualified a quite incredible 7th. Unfortunately the honeymoon was soon over. His grand prix ended on the first lap and the German was out of the race.



TEAM 2 | FLAVIO BRIATORE : BENETTON [1992]
But it had been enough to prompt other team's interests and a young Flavio Briatore poached Michael for his Benetton Team in 1992. He intimidated his team mate Martin Brundle. Martin admitted that he was a difficult team mate cuz he was strong in the head and quite fast for him and has a shine around him every time he got out of the car. Schumi drove Martin off the road for a couple of times but generally they got on well and achieved a lot in 1992.


He also battle Aryton Senna in 1992, who was a mentor for him through out his carting career. Now the battle shifted on the Formula 1 arena. A respect grew between the two even as Senna didn't always like Michaels style, most explosively at the 1992 French Grand Prix. Senna was heard advising Schumacher to think before making a move that could put others at risk ... and all of this happened on National Television! But it was a lasting respect.Obvious to see years later, when an emotional Schumacher equaled Senna's record of 41 victories.



In 1993 he finished 4th behind Prost, Senna and Hill and 1994 saw a an older if not always wiser Michael finishing 4th in the Spanish Grand Prix, despite being stuck in the 5th gear. His driving was spectacular.

But how he went about winning wasn't always so impressive. Most famously at the year's (1994) title decider. The final race of the season in Adelaide, where Michael was battling Damon Hill for the championship. Michael was ahead on the points list followed closely by Damon Hill. He got off the track and was defending his position against Damon Hill. Trying to keep up with his track position he slammed his car into the progressing Damon Hill and bounced his car off his tyres. Schumacher retired from the race effectively at that point. But Damon Hill continued to race as Michael awaited the chequered flag by the track side. Damon Hill has only to keep going to be the world champion. Within moments Damon Hill retired from the race and that technically made Michael the champion for the season who was scarcely able to believe his luck. They were accused of cheating by many teams. But for the time being Schumacher and Benetton were unstoppable.

The next year (1995) saw 9 wins, 11 podiums and another bold battle with Damon Hill for the title. They both went off the track in a similar freak incident at a decider. Schumacher ran upto Williams [Damon Hill's car] and had a big big discussion about this. But the crowd were delighted. Despite of the appearances on the track there was a deep respect between the two of them. But 1995 was Michael's year again and championship number 2. It looked like the beginning of a lasting relationship between Michael, Flavio, Benetton but Michael had other ideas.It was difficult decision for Michael to leave Benetton but it mattered to him how he achieves something, how he wins races and he was looking for that particular challenge.


TEAM 3 | JEAN TODT : SCUDERIA FERRARI [1996 - 2OO6]

And a challenge was what he got. When Michael joined Ferrari (in 1996) , they were a struggling team. But then Michael and Ferrari became one of the most impressive come backs in the Formula 1 history. But it was hard work. He worked night and day to work with the engineers to a new level. Turning in at Saturday nights to work on his machine. There were early successes. An emotional win for Ferrari's home circuit at Monza in 1997 and a first win at Monaco for Ferrari since 1981. But there were bad times as well. Accused of cheating again after a disqualification from a 1997 world championships for deliberated driving into title rival Jack Villeneuve and on the following year just missing out on 1998 Driver's title.

In 1999, on the first lap of the British Grand Prix, things went from bad to worse. Schumacher locked his brakes and couldn't slow down. It was a simple driving mistake from Michael. Michael snatched a brake and the snatched both of the brakes and panics and stays on the pedal and had a big impact at a very considerable speed at the tyre wall corner. That year Ferrari won their first constructor's championship since Michael joined them. But it was bitter sweet. Michael's crash caused by a rear break failure left him with a badly broken leg and a question mark whether the great German would ever return to form. He missed his next six races and a chance for claiming his first Driver's title for Ferrari.

But Michael fought back. He worked harder and came back fitter, stronger and even more determined. His level of fitness was incredible. The Ferrari bad times were about to come to an end. For next 5 seasons belonged to Ferrari and Michael Schumacher. Record after record fell. Michael smashed Senna's record of 41 race wins, Prost's record of 51 wins, then Fangio's record of 5 championships. In 2004, Michael left the rest of the grid in his wake. Winning 13 out of 18 races and becoming the first driver to win 5 consecutive world championships and a magnificent 7 in all. No one could touch him. Michael became so dominant, it was whispered that his unchallenged success could even be damaging the sport. But the Ferrari fans loved every minute of it. Maranello, the spiritual home of Ferrari took Michael Schumacher, a German by their heart. Victory followed victory followed victory.

But admists all that success and celebration, there was controversy. These legends and geniuses sometimes go the edge and sometimes over the edge to achieve. The Schumacher's belief in winning at any cost brought more calls of cheat. This time at the 2002 Austrian Grand Prix. On the last lap, it didn't look that there were going to be any "Team Orders". But Barrichello got real close to Schumacher on the last curve and Schumi went on to win the race effectively due to these "Team Orders". Rubens Barrichello let through Michael Schumacher to win the race. Michael Schumacher was never heard booed before. It was such a shame. No good for the sport. Not good for anybody. A case of "Team Orders" at the very end of the race resulted in embarrassment and criticism that rocked the sport to its core. Damaging Michael Schumacher and Ferrari's reputation. A Reputation that wasn't helped by an ill advised attempt to put things right things later in the season at Indianapolis. A clumsy staged finish that left the American crowd scratching their heads and Formula 1 fans deeply disillusioned. According to the computer Barrichello had been given the win after following the whole race behind Schumacher. Rubens Barrichello won the Grand Prix. That day F1 died of shame.

There was personal tragedy too. At the 2003 San Marino Grand Prix, Schumacher raced and won despite hearing the news of the death of his Mother at the very day of the race. Through all this the five seasons from 2000 through 2004 belonged to Schumacher. But that was all about to change. A young Spaniard and another team on a come back charge were about to take the spring out of the Michael's step. Fernando Alonso did the impossible. He outed the Schumacher's "Schumacher". Aggressive, daring, even a little arrogant. Alonso took the old man of the sport and he won. And no one loved it more than Renault's Flavio Briatorri, who had never forgiven Michael Schumacher for leaving his Benetton team for Ferrari 9 years before.

2005 was not a good season for Ferrari and Michael Schumacher. Rule changes hurt their car. Alonso and Renault hurt their invincible reputation. And by the middle of the season, Schumacher admitted title defeat. He was right. Alonso won his first championship. For the first time in 5 years, Michael was not number 1.

For 2006 season, didn't look like it is going to be any better for Michael. A massive smash in Australia gave the race to Alonso. A few races later, at the twisty Monaco circuit where a pole position is as good as winning the race, Schumacher did something that left his reputation in tatters. After qualifying at pole position he made a mistake somewhere in the middle if the first sector and halted on the track when others were at their respective flying laps. It spoiled everyone else's lap too. The Yellow flags were out. That kept him in pole position. Alonso came out on a flier and went past Schumacher but missed out on pole. Michael was again called upon as a cheat. He was thrown back down the grid and Alonso went on to win the race. "It was the cheapest, Dirtiest thing that I have ever seen in Formula 1.", that was what Keke Rosberg had to say about the incident. Adding insult to injury Flavio Briattory commented, "This is the way Ferrari manage you know ... "

But Monaco set the tone for another Schumacher come back. He may have scored only 2 wins in first 9 races in 2006. But he fought back to win 5 of the next 7. Classic Ferrari. Classic Schumacher.In the middle of this run, came Monza and the news that had been hanging over the whole season. Eddie Jordan said, "I think Michael had been pushed out. they had already signed Kimi Räikkönen and it was very difficult for them to get rid of Massa."

Martin Brundle, Micael's former racing partner said, "It's a shame and you could construct to it that he has run away from racing with Räikkönen next year as well. And I think that take a little away from his achievement."

On his last lap of the race, commentator said "He said I don't want any distractions. I just wanna race on sunday and then we will talk. But now we will talk. Jean Todt doen't know what to do, whether to laugh or cry". That day Michael Schumacher retired from Formula 1 Racing. He is technically the best driver Formula 1 has ever had. He has set so high standards that todays young rookie have to keep up with. The level of fitness, the perfection to the bit and of course the skill sets.
Hail Schumi. Hail Ferrari. BRAVO SCHUMI. BRAVO INDEED.

So Finally we move to the current scenario, where in you have seen Fernando Alonso moving out of Reanult within one season [ almost same as Schumi did to Flavio Briatorri's Benetton earlier ]. So we are watching history repeat itself. Schumi moved into Ferrari to have a good future [ which he did by all means possible ] ... I wonder what will happen of Alonso ? Will he move into Ferrari to have a better future ? Lets hope not cuz Massa and Kimi are quite a handful at the moment. And as far as terms with team mate Lewis Hamilton goes, Alonso will have to make a rough decision for himself cuz as I see it now, he is not getting along with McLaren Mercedes Benz. He is a spoilt sport but has not got the character Schumi had. Thats probably the only thing that went wrong with Alonso. And also Flavio's sad vibes that got hold of his championship in danger. Move out Alonso, try Spyker F1, ohh no sorry, Vijay Mallya ensured that you just moved out of the racing arena ... cuz in 2008 Spyker Kingfisher is gonna throng upon the Formula 1 event with Karan Chandok, Armaan Ibrahim and Narain Karthikeyan.

I think its all about winning. You don't win silver, you loose the gold. [Yes, Stole it from SRK speech]. And thats what is important. Knowing what you loose and trying to get it matters, Instead of raking on your success of winning the silver. You win, you will be remembered. If you loose, no one cares how you loose. No one knows how India got kicked out of Cricket World Cup in 2007. But they certainly will remember the Twenty20 World Cup victory for years to come. How they were received and how they were felicitated by mumbai ... the politicians were typical ass holes. I don't give a shit about them. I am talking about the Mumbai people at the airport and on the streets. People won't remember how they got thrashed by Australia within two weeks of their victory in 5 out of 7 matches. [with one no result]. It makes sense, doesn't it ?

News should be Regulated !

Media has got highly powerful status in today's world. In India they are self proclaimed Gods. At least they want to think on those lines. But it is becoming hazy. The topics media focuses now-a-days seem to be more retard than the correspondent interviewing Khali and his wife.

Media has got responsibility, a role in society, a presence that supposed to mean something. With news channels on the rise, the search for TRP is on the rise. With invasion of privacy, media is all guns blazing going for the kill.

No survivors left at the end of the battle. The battle for the TRP ... the ultimate priced thing thats so god damn virtual and so god damn feeble that it means nothing to people who get affected by the tyranny of these blood sucking monsters.

At this point in time, one thinks that the Government should regulate news channels. The story covered, the qualty of content presented and the accountability of the information given out. People won't buy your cookies unless they contain marujuana. This is what the media has been thinking. Pricky intent leading to manipulation of more intensive subjects. News channels soon will hire people that can make news. Produce news. They will exhaust out of topics. One fine day they might even apologise for "no more news" ... where are the old days ?

I was at my Nani's place where there was reception ... but only of National Television ... National News. Though they did not cover the second innings of *all* the IPL matches, but the news showed had a sense of purpose. A sense of maturity. These sissy news channels show "Doors of the heaven", "Arjuna's Dog in Kashmir", "Hanumahan on the wall", "Chris Angel performing something weired"(as always ... that too downloaded from You Tube ... sad ... very sad).

We have more things in the world that affect you and me rather than seeing Khali pumping iron. But no, khali is khali ... the mahabali ... children love him ... he loves children. Goddamn posers. Posers in true sense. I mean, you can see it for once, but then you run the story every 2 hours for 4 weeks ... make it obsolete ... to the point when everyone stops giving a damn about how Khali first proposed her wife !

On more personal note, I hate the current situation. I hate the Indian news channels. They don't make any sense. They don't have any sense of responsibility. They are not mature. They are not accountable. (Adnan Orkut Murder Case). It is inhuman. It should be regulated.